How To Have A Happier Life.
When I feel overwhelmed – “I stifle myself with negativity and let external events dictate my joy. Monkey mind.” -Gina Allen
I lived this way for many years when my anxiety was really bad. I could not see a way out and I had no idea what the future would hold.
I was only able to live day by day and try my best to make sure my daughters and my dogs were looked after as they came first.
We even moved into a new, larger home to see if the extra space would help us as yes there was a lot of clutter around the house.
So now the clutter was just spread out more into a much larger space.
A place we could not maintain or afford when we both lost our jobs for a while.
So yes, I definitely let the external events of my life dictate my joy.
My expectations, which I did not think were high were constantly unmet by a variety of factors which only made my anxiety worse.
I no longer live in overwhelm or clutter and I keep my expectations very low so that almost anyone can surpass them.
If they can’t they don’t deserve to be in my circle of influence. Today, I put myself first.
This does not mean I do not love those around me or want the best for them.
What it does mean is that I do what makes me happy and what brings me joy.
By doing that I can also make those around me happy.
A happier mom and partner equals a happier life for everyone.
Do you struggle with anxiety and overwhelm?
1.Talk to a professional if you can. I was part of an anxiety CBT group through St. Joe’s hospital and had a therapist I saw there twice a month.
This was all no charge so there are services out there you can access.
2.Next, see if you need medication or some type of natural therapies.
I have been on anxiety meds since my Grandma died in 2000.
I started meds and started seeing a chiropractor regularly after that as there were tons of emotions that came up.
I cannot imagine how much more difficult my life would have been if I had not been medicated.
The mental health stigma is slowly going away as more people talk about it.
There is no shame in seeking medical help for your mental health.
3. Use your friendship or find some friends that you can count on to help you. You need some time away from your kids?
You take them to a friend’s. You need to talk?
So set up a playdate with their kids to keep each other busy while you talk.
4. Talk to your partner and let them know where your head is at and that you need more help.
5.See how you can take more off your plate until you feel strong enough to take on more.
Your kids would rather have a healthy parent than be dragged around to different activities and events as it is what you are “supposed” to do.
If you need more help around the house see if you can fit a cleaning lady in the budget or even an organizer who can help you create systems in your home.
Use a meal service to help with the decision of what is for dinner.
Pare down all the clothes in the house so there is less laundry and less to fold and put away.
Lower your expectations -bathroom and kitchen disinfected and somewhat tidy and clean clothes for everyone to wear.
Many people can have neat and tidy homes without a problem but there are also many who can’t. Don’t beat yourself up -just ask for help.
Feel free to book in a free 30 min phone consultation if you want to chat more.
Here is another blog I wrote with some more tips.